Hello my adorable Thinkers!
Today I am sharing the story about why I decided to pursue midwifery. The story starts soon after the birth of one of my sisters. We are going to travel back in time to 2005 when I was just 5 years old. There were then, five of us kids aged 10 – 0. Since we were all so young my mother would take us all with her to appointments and then give us busy toys across the room while she handled whatever she needed to do. This particular day we were at a lactation consultant to help my then baby sister, nurse. I was sitting across the room under a table when I heard something that caught my attention. The lactation consultant was telling my mother that she had clogged ducks. “Clogged ducks?” I thought, “I didn’t know we had ducks in our body!” So I began listening to what they were talking about to see what other things I could learn. Eventually I found out that they were not talking about the animal ducks but instead were saying ducts, which makes a lot more sense.
After that experience, I wanted to tag along with Mommy to every appointment she would attend. The rest of my siblings were eventually old enough to stay home. But during the pregnancy and postpartum of the next three siblings, I attended numerous prenatals, postnatals, lactation consultants, and one session of a birthing class. I found everything so interesting! Some of the people we were seeing would explain things to me, others would talk to Mommy as if I wasn’t there. Either way I loved going and soaked in as much information as possible.
When my Mother found out she was pregnant with my youngest brother she asked me if I would like to attend his birth. I was 13 and she felt I was old enough to actually see the birth happen. I was ecstatic! I attended all the prenatals and I would take notes on what happened, for the midwife. The midwife would use my notes to write up the medical charts and I would get school credit for writing them. All throughout the process the midwife told me time after time that I should be a midwife, or I would be a great midwife, but every time I was like no, no, that is not for me. When the day of the birth rolled around my Mother woke me up and told me that she was in labor. She was having my brother at home (as she had done with each of my siblings since my birth) so I just excitedly got ready for the day. Once the midwife came, my job was go-for. I would run to the kitchen and make tea, grab supplies, or whatever was needed. If I wasn’t running around getting things, I sat on the far side of my mothers bed to give everyone plenty of space and to stay out of the way. After the birth, at the 24 hour appointment the midwife told me again that I should be a midwife expecting the same answer I had been giving her for months. But I said “maybe”. She was immediately shocked, but I meant it.
After that I talked with my Mother’s friends in the birth community about what I should do to become a midwife, since I was only 13. They all said that I should read up on the subject as much as possible. One Doula gave me a list of 7 books that talked about putting God into birth and I found 40 more books online on other birth related topics. Some were birth stories, some are textbooks but over the years I have collected all 47 books off my list. I have still not read them all but I am working on it.
When I was about to graduate highschool, I had a big decision to make. I knew that I wanted to be a midwife but the question was, did I want to be a CPM (Certified Practicing Midwife) or a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife). I talked to my parents and midwives I knew but all of them said that either option has its place and one is not better than the other. So I decided that more education would be better (ha!) and enrolled in college. I started at a junior college so that I could get all my prerecs and then transfer to a university where I would get my BSN and then my Master’s in midwifery. That course would take about 6-10 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I am committed to staying out of debt, so I worked almost full time, saved every penny I could, and dedicated myself to my studies. It was very hard. It almost felt like I was running up against a wall I had to push in front of me to get anywhere. I thought at the time that this must just be what higher education is like since everyone says college is hard. I stayed in school for 1 year. Over that summer I took four CLEP tests, and passed three of them. That reduced my prospective cost some so I scheduled more for the winter semester instead of classes. That was 2019. Then, as we all know in early 2020 the world changed forever. Everything stopped, my tests were cancelled, my job was gone, the dance team that I was still working with at the time cancelled their big event that we had been practicing. I had nothing. No income, no further education, nothing. That hard stop in my life got me thinking. I crunched numbers, did research, and prayed a lot. I came to the conclusion the CNM route was not going to work for me. It was then that I found my current school, Association of Texas Midwives Midwifery Training Program or ATMMTP. I decided to apply and that vary day I saw blessings in every area of my life. From family, friends, my job, everywhere. But soon after I started the application process I was invited to go to Zimbabwe with my sister. I finished as much as I could before I left but there was still an essay that I had to write before the school would decide if I was going to make it in or not. I wrote the essay in Zimbabwe (see my post Two Weeks of Silence to hear more about that process) and the day after Thanksgiving they emailed me that I was accepted! I was so happy! Emily and Ishmael said I was shaking the whole house. I called Mommy and told her. I could hear her announce it to all my cousins and family. We all were so very happy!
There was a problem though. Because I had quit my job when I left for Zimbabwe which meant I had no way of paying for anything but the first two modules and some textbooks. I decided to trust God and would look for a job if necessary. But at first I just focused on getting used to being in school again. In mid-March a family I had known from my old job had twins. I saw this on social media and thought, I should do the Southern hospitable thing and bring them dinner one night. So I texted their Mom and she happily accepted. While I was at their house she asked me if I would be interested in helping to take care of the babies. I happily accepted and started working for her the next Sunday. I have been working for them ever since and I couldn’t be happier. Because of this job I have been able to pay for the rest of my school and buy all the textbooks I am going to need. The next step is to get certified for neonatal resuscitation early next month. After that, I am going to pursue an apprenticeship under a midwife.
I plan to keep y’all updated on this journey! I hope you enjoyed my origin story! Until next time! ~ The Pondering Panda
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